Look, Ma! We're on TV!

In December 2025, we were contacted by the production crew of Ugliest Homes in America HGTV. They initially contacted the realtor that helped us buy the castle, but she would not give them our contact information. She told them our house wasn't ugly and she also thought it was a scam. They reached out to the realtor that sold us the castle and he gave them our contact information. Several phone calls, many legal documents signed, loads of emails, and video interviews later, they said we were picked to be on the show and the filming day would be April 1, 2026. At this point, we were not sure it was really happening. Maybe we were still being pranked.

We still got ready, in case it wasn't a prank. The husband put on his kilt. We had to secure the cat and dog. We cleaned-up the yard a little and the house a lot. Then, on April 1, the crew showed up around 10am. It was good Scottish weather, drizzly, windy, and cool. They set up lights everywhere in the house and wired us for sound. They shot outside drone footage. Interviewed us and prepped us for the day. We learned Retta is not told anything about the houses before she arrives. Her reactions are real, first time reactions to the house before her. They decided which rooms to focus on. We had at least two rooms deemed too nice for the show, which we think is funny.

Around noon, Retta arrives. We decide to open both our front doors when the doorbell rings. To this day, we don't know why we have two front doors. Retta is a wonderful person to meet. She is so observant and witty. She was amazed at how many stucco grapes were on the castle crenulations, something we hadn't really thought about with all the other weirdness of our place. She asked so many thoughtful questions, most of which didn't make it on the show. We found out she has a fear of heights and avoided all our balconies. We were surprised she could handle being on our roof. Lastly, our daughter is fan of Retta's but couldn't be there and Retta took a photo of us, holding a picture of our daughter. Best part of the day for me.

Many have been shocked our house was on the show, because it really isn't hideous or ugly. It is unique, unusual, weird, old, leaking, rotting in places, lacking in storage, small bedrooms that can barely fit a queen sized bed BUT, not really ugly. Not many things in the house are square or level. The house is nearly 100years old. We have been here 10 years and have fixed some ugly things. However, the husband was excited to have the house on TV for "posterity" and I think hoping that we could have our kitchen updated or the bathroom with the rotting exterior wall fixed. As fans of the show know, they show isn't about fixing old and broken. The show is about fixing ugly. I did the show for my mom. She loves watching HGTV and this show. I knew she would be thrilled to see our place on TV and tell all her friends about it.

Some corrections and additions to the show:

• The dishwasher she pulled the blue film off of was broken and we were waiting until after the show to replace it

• The curtains they highlighted are not original to the house but the glass etchings on those French doors are

• Retta pronounced Ben Lomond wrong but it was cute

• We had a secret door they decided not to film

• She had some fun talking to us from behind the bar in our dungeon

• She spent 30 minutes on our an exterior walkway by the river with the crew recording her impressions that were not used at all in the show. I keep wondering what happened to that footage.

• We have some stairs so steep, it is almost like climbing a ladder that they left out. I was worried for the camera person. I thought he was going to fall down them.

And lastly, people ask us if we were paid to be on the show. Nope. We were just given a free lunch and our 15 minutes of fame. Overall, it was a once in a lifetime experience and everyone working on the show were great, kind, respectful and fun.

You can catch our Faux Scottish Castle on Season 8, Episode 2.